3 replies to this topic

[Just Mark]

I am new to this site and to any for that matter so I don't know exactly what to say I enjoyed your post very much but this line hit me harder than all otheres.


[quote name="soul_seeker"]

for I have never seen flames more beautiful, nor heard a crash quite like this chaotic symphony.

To find beauty in pain is amazing.

Thank you

[vnorm]

Wassup Soul? you had a good piece here.I really liked your wording all through though I felt like you didnt polish this up, plus you intended it to be in a different form. I like the enjambment you had going on, though I'd love to read this again, afetr you edit and structure it into formal poetry form coz i think it deserves that. I would love to help. i see lots of potential here.

1 thing though, I hesitated before i gave u some feedback coz i notice you have given any feedback to other poets. Please do the same or the mods will have to lock your piece.

peace.

[timchilds2010]

That was real soulful. Actually reminds me of a situation I went through. Cool peice. Needs spicing.

[oxytim]

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I really liked your wording all through though I felt like you didnt polish this up, plus you intended it to be in a different form. I like the enjambment you had going on, though I'd love to read this again, afetr you edit and structure it into formal poetry form coz i think it deserves that.

I agree with vnorm there, i think this is a really great piece. Touch it up a little...

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(as though that were a valid reason).

I think you can find a better way to explain this... it does feel extremely detached from the rest of the piece...