4 replies to this topic

[The NomadPoet]

Dry, my skin feel dry and cracked,
cracked between my toes,
my lips are suffering from the heat,
and my intestines are boiling.
I yearn; I yearn for fair Atlantis
the gardens of Mu,
the planes of infinity.
I hunger for the presence of everlasting love
I dream, dream of its fairness
Imagining its awareness
Stretching from here to eternity
I try, try my very best
Not to fall prey to the villains in this nest

A few thousand years of indigestion
A few thousand years of disbelief
A few thousand years of rebellion
And now we unite all in peace

Burned, my soul is burned from hells fire
Fried by the flames of shame
My hands bleed the blood of its victims
Slain by the thoughts of a madman
My ears scream the agony of the psychics
Caught between visions of despair
My face, weary and downtrodden
Buried in heaps of frowns
My smile, non-existent
My goals of tomorrow forgotten with yesterday
Escape this vicious web of self-deceit
Awake! Your deepest act of self relieve
Achieve!

A few hundred years of make believe
A few hundred years of take and leave
A few hundred years of breaking Eve
And now we reunite all in peace

Troubled, no, troubled no more
Removed from this world of material existence
Elevated to a time of non-resistance
Re-enchantment
Re-enlighten
Re-united
Gather at the feet of the ONE
Sing praise
Rejoice in your choice to find your voice
Be free
Be free and see what you can be
Be free and see the wonders that dwell the sea
Release, release the hold of time!
Indeed the souls a shrine

A few more years of hunger pains
A few more years of thunderous rains
A few more tears as the hunters are slain
For in love and war, we’re all the same

From the water we came
Mixed with the dust
Return to the mud
Drowned in self lust
From the skies they watched
Recording this tragedy
Writing books bout our love
And songs bout our vanity
We’re living poems of the master
No need for popes, nuns, priest or pastor

A mirror image of life itself
A river of peace a life of wealth
A sister to each a wife in health
Now whisper don’t preach and live life for self

L :?:

[thaddaeus]

Quote

I hunger for the presence of everlasting love
I dream, dream of its fairness

Everlasting sure is a long time,doesn't seem very fair to me.
:?

[Couzifer]

How you manage to balance rhymes n' content is jus' amazing...at some point it feels like some of the rhymes are forced but then after a closer look it all makes sense!...Mad props poet.

Nice piece of poetry you got here...

The NomadPoet said:

Burned, my soul is burned from hells fire
Fried by the flames of shame
My hands bleed the blood of its victims
Slain by the thoughts of a madman
My ears scream the agony of the psychics
Caught between visions of despair
My face, weary and downtrodden
Buried in heaps of frowns
My smile, non-existent
My goals of tomorrow forgotten with yesterday
Escape this vicious web of self-deceit
Awake! Your deepest act of self relieve
Achieve!

I got to love this...

[vnorm]

dam bwoy. This is some sick sick piece. I thought its about the enlightenment that comes with spiritual awakening. Coz close to the Son (Jesus?) we are able to see for ourselves the vanity and trivialty behind all the things we trouble ourselves chasing in life.
I like the transitions between the verses coz every verse was very compact and expressed ideas pretty well. The rhyming, like Couzi mentioned tended to cause u to divert a lil bit, especially with the 'refrains' e.g

Quote

A few more years of hunger pains
A few more years of thunderous rains
A few more tears as the hunters are slain
For in love and war, we’re all the same

You would have to explain some of the lines a lil too much to have them fit the concept of the poem. takes some stretching to make 'hunters are slain' line fit, in my opinion.
Despite it all I must say I loved this piece man. Im a fan of your works so keep writing (for me. haha)

ur vote is needed on this battle:
viewtopic.php?f=31&t=19387

[The NomadPoet]

“Blessed are they who write, for they are young again each day”
Imhotep, ca. 6000BC

@ V - one day when I have nuff time !!!!!