5 replies to this topic

[The NomadPoet]

More tell a tea … leaf (storm in a tea cup)

Born into a prison of moral downfall
A hellhole of incest as we ingest their foul will
& loose patience with the patients we council
since we loop in time caught in its round swirl.

We pronounce stillborn babies to be dead at birth,
cause deep inside we regret their worth
we reject their mirth,
yet we accept the lies of the serpents myth!

Slither tongue politicians
Shamans of the parliaments and horror kitchens
Corner rituals conquered via dollar visions
Legions of demons from our polar regions

Ascend on mankind as Global warming
Uprooting the routes of this social spawning
Viewed in the grief of their vocal mourning
As they mush more room while Atomic Bombing

A haze of confusion calmed by herbal remedies
A maze of pollution comes from purple memories
A daze of amusement stuns our verbal enemies
Just blaze in the nuisance, the sum of our urban centuries

Smell the incense that’s the innocence of life
Read the tell tale signs behind the tall tale lies they drive
The small-scale lives they survive
The doll face wives they deprive

I loose hope to regain my sanity
I loose my ego to the out stretched hand of vanity
A Hippie rapture that is a Bohemian rhapsody
I fail to see the MAN in Humanity

In a forest of greens swimming in toxins
We carry our sins like overworked oxen
Over work we’re boxed in
And then we cover our souls underground in a coffin

How awesome be Gods plan
For none of it will soften the boatmen
No matter how often you conversed with the pope man
Don’t get caught up in their hope scam …..

L?

[vnorm]

Mortality?

Boy I like your flow. I feel like your pieces are those ones where the ryhme inspires the wording, and the wording inspires the rhyming. This works really well mostly and this had some of those magic moments.
I liked the Awake message to it, though at the begining I felt like the topic kept hopping from this to that, which kinda made the piece feel like just a rant. Eventually it took form and it was a good piece.
Keep blessing the forums fam.
This was tight.

[The NomadPoet]

Irie ites!!!!

The idea was to write something from the point of someone reading their own tea leaves in order to see their future.....

Much apprecialove the feedback

[Spinflip]

You got some real rhyming skills, man, and you put them up against a legit topic, and the result is a real fine bit of writing.
I will agree though, the first half seemed to kinda wander a bit, but you brought it all together in the second.

[Kizito]

Quote

A haze of confusion calmed by herbal remedies
A maze of pollution comes from purple memories
A daze of amusement stuns our verbal enemies
Just blaze in the nuisance, the sum of our urban centuries

Smell the incense that’s the innocence of life
Read the tell tale signs behind the tall tale lies they drive
The small-scale lives they survive
The doll face wives they deprive

my favourite bit.. love the rhyming on this bit... it does wander a lot though i would agree... but in this bit.. you make a lot of sense and you present it in an awesome manner. sl!ck

Honour

K

P.s. I did gain somemore insight on style just by reading this piece.. good and bad.. to grow or not to grow!

[cornelius]

man !man! sleek is the way you dropped it. the word play was superb and the questions within some of ya lines are worth brain storming

The NomadPoet said:

Born into a prison of moral downfall
A hellhole of incest as we ingest their foul will
& loose patience with the patients we council
since we loop in time caught in its round swirl.

completely amazing openner!