11 replies to this topic

[thaddaeus]

You looked so far ahead of yourself,you caught a glimpse of what was behind you,right?
It's a frighting thing to witness your own morality slowly disintegrate into a fine powder only to be stolen by the wind
and carried off to an undisclosed sanctuary of perversion,but it is what it is until it aint,right?
You thumb through the pages of life only to succumb to it's fatalistic promise of an absolute conclusion,i mean you have danced with shadows,right?
Time and time again you wait patiently for something that never comes hoping maybe this day will fair no more illusions,but there's always an illusion,right?
So are we really all the same,or am i just like you?

[MC Qham]

thaddaeus said:

So are we really all the same,or am i just like you?

nice question but we all different pal :wink:

[Couzifer]

thaddaeus said:

You looked so far ahead of yourself,you caught a glimpse of what was behind you,right?
It's a frighting thing to witness your own morality slowly disintegrate into a fine powder only to be stolen by the wind
and carried off to an undisclosed sanctuary of perversion,

So where do you stand?!...I guess outside your body frame somewhere beyond life and death...right?!...I like how you thought this out.

...and yeah, we all the same thats why none of us grows wings and fly...we all the same because we share the same root of life...call it creation call it evolution!...we all the same thats why sometime we all gotta go...i mean DIE!...and cease to exist...and thats something you cant resist!!!

So...you aint like me son...but we all the same!

[thaddaeus]

2 much coffee :P my bad

[Kizito]

Thad.. i love the way you describe the fall from morality..

its pretty deep man.

K.

Good coffee.. good good coffee

[cornelius]

these are thoughts for my brain potation. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem

[vnorm]

I liked the concept of the poetry very much. You sound like the questions are rhetoric, though at some points you sound like you really also dont know the answer to those questions.

I had qualms, however, with your structure. This poem is so deep that it deserved good structure and i think u denied it that. To an extent it almost felt like prose, coz those were just long sentences of poetry. Prose can still be poetry, but it gotta be either poetry or prose. It makes the reader read more keenly and take you more seriously.
Keep writing dawg. This was very though provoking and entertaining, nevertheless.

[thaddaeus]

spot on vnorm..
it's a strange feeling when the mirror talks back.

[Poetic Seraph]

I agree with the others. very thought provoking, but the structure would indeed add to the poem!!

[Xblaze]

nice subject matter but the rhyming or lack of thereof derailed the structure of ur piece.

Besides that, good piece.

[fikrah]

Quote

It's a frighting thing to witness your own morality slowly disintegrate into a fine powder only to be stolen by the wind
and carried off to an undisclosed sanctuary of perversion,but it is what it is until it aint,right?

this piece is just amazing...like finding your way home after being lost 4 a moment...

[revolt]

kid i love it u write like me run off lol