4 replies to this topic

[mimic truce]

poem 1.

whats to come.

I beckon whats to come.
if it shows.
how ugly?
I beckon whats to come
if it comes for the first time or as a repetition i didnt notice.
if it comes.
How sincere will i be, and how will i notice
Whatever will come
i beckon it to come, i have nothing left before all of this.


Poem 2


Come.

I clasp hold of palms fold in fists
in my mind bold, feeling strong because i believe
all the stories i have been told to inspire peace and hope...
a legend bored in blacken elbows and knees.
yeah i walk, a path trail of broken dreams
torn limbs rubbed in with acqueous creams
soothing to melodies that really lack logical sound or rhythyms
believing i have a soul capable of cognition of realism
answers unknown, harsh truths i parole from in escapism
a cowardly norm. ...
but im told love comes to console. though in a cowardly form
im full of love, so what ever will come, love will fix it all.
i beckon it.
Come



which ones better

[Poetic Seraph]

Definatly the second one. The first one kinda feels like you failed to tap into the emotions that you were tryin to express, you couldn't find the exact words. If feels a bit emotionless and superficial. The second one is a beautiful poem, nice metaphores and phrases, I prefer the second one

[MC Qham]

i'ma come back n drop a reply

[MC Qham]

MC Qham said:

i'ma come back n drop a reply

i prefer the second one

[eizzy.k]

second poem hands down.
it reads beautifully!

Quote

I clasp hold of palms fold in fists
in my mind bold, feeling strong because i believe
all the stories i have been told to inspire peace and hope...

yeah me too, the world definitely need more romantics like us...