15 replies to this topic

[41Trippa]

soul_seeker said:

I love you,
I want to write it on your skin with my fingertips, so that you feel it all over

I don’t want it to be left out at the end of a conversation,

I want those three words to come down like a gentle shower that’ll lightly land on every inch of you, as my soul,

Let my, I love you,
Slip from my tongue
And run along your body and take the shape of your contours,

Whewwww!!! I tell you, these are some severely righteous lines .. and I love them!
I tell you, "wanting" is a beautiful thing and somehow "having" so often falls short.

[TeeZeR]

Damn what some words you have there dude. It reminds me of that Robin Thicke's track...lost without you.
Such words/ phrases are always difficult to say when the time to say them comes...I sometimes want to tell my woman a whole lot of things, but right there would come all some other ad hoc thoughts...i can tell you that these other thoughts are straight bullshit, but I always give into them. What a kak situation.

[Couzifer]

The art of expression at it best, I'm loving this piece. Sometimes words can get louder!

[israel]

One word describes this piece, and that word is - DOPE!
I'm loving the imagery.
Plus this piece has a sort of a ???... Its chaste without being overly prudent, sexual without being too explicit. I love the sense of innocence it bears. Nice 1 man.

[Poetic Seraph]

Quote

Its chaste without being overly prudent, sexual without being too explicit. I love the sense of innocence it bears.

EXACTLY!!! it's very smooth, sensual and innocent at the same time. questioning if 'i love u' will be received in the exact way that u meant it when u said it, shows that u care enough to wonder. cuz people use those 3 words too easily nowadays. and when it comes straight from the heart and not out of habit, i love u is very hard to say, cuz it can have a lot and a lot of consequences

[eizzy.k]

its hard to come across a good "I Love You" poem, but i think u pulled it off...
it felt genuine! sensual even, dude i cud feel the love! LoL!
P.S. would make a great spoken word performance piece!

[temple of zion]

wow dude u killed it man,i lked the way you killed this rhyme..
"Let my, I love you,
Slip from my tongue
And run along your body and take the shape of your contours,
May this phrase from my heart to yours, fit you like a glove.
May this I love you of mine not suddenly undergo some un-welcomed metamorphosis,
May it not all of a sudden snake menacingly around your body
May it not tighten, to strangle and suffocate you."

dude thats something inspiring,and i would enjoy reading yo piece over and over again,kip tha fire burning

[occipital]

so simple yet so hard hitting. love it

[discyple]

not bad at all im lovin the whole concept and the structure of this ish. nice piece delivered perfectly.


word
:wink:

[thaddaeus]

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[b boy]

some people when dey get emotional....they write and it comes out beautifully.............u sir are 1 of em.................big ups.......nice delivery ......superb writing ....... :D

[discyple]

:shock:

[discyple]

where's the original piece itself? All i see is replys... Please send me the link to the original piece. :shock:

[41Trippa]

WTFu ... I know this piece was that veritable "sweet in the honey" and I wish I knew why Soul_Seeker yanked it! I'm sorely tempted to fill tha gap though (and smack that ass) .. ya feel meh?!! LOL!! I might mess around and "x-rate" this joint and where would that leave us all ... Hahahahaha!!! I sure hope Spring/Summer brings life to AHH!!

[41Trippa1]

... and so.it goes. We come full circle, standing squarely
in the crucible ... seeking balance
In the ebb and flow of lifes ony true challenge
.... to be true to something that we can only fathom!

Where did we go wrong .... and why?

[AshleyDim]

Flabbergast work!!! I am fond of your writing.

painters hollywood