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prophetic declerations.................


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#1 b boy

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Posted 22 May 2009 - 01:47 AM

"THROUGH" induced thoughts of prophetic declerations.......
i discovered the "SYNONYMS" of my rapture.........
through simple conotations "OF" discrete language .............
i worked out a "COMPROMISE" with this damage..............

as a heart attack to a baby
and "ETERNITY" going to hell

as earth regugitates blood "SWALLOWED"
and demons grow tails

as peace is shacklled
and "PAIN" gets cheaper

as love is raped
"AND" angels are widowed

as innocense is "POLLUTED"
and grace is cancerd

as "DILLIGENCE" becomes a burden
and children sing in demonic rhytm's

as hate lives in our inheritance
and "LIBERTY" call's for bail

as sedatives are induced
"AND GUILT" is illuminated

as wisdom is looted
"AS" truth is dilluted

i realise with deep "TERROR"
my thoughts have "RAPTURED".......
.......deserting "MY BODY" in post apokalyptik times..................................

hence........
THROUGH SYNONYMS OF COMPROMISE ETERNITY SWALLOWED PAIN AND POLLUTED DILLIGENCE, LIBERTY AND GUILT AS TERROR RAPTURED MY BODY......................CHARLES OPARA

#2 Kizito

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Posted 22 May 2009 - 07:06 AM

Hmm.. there is so much truth in most of ur "two liners"

Wisdom is looted as truth is diluted...

Hate lives in our inheritence and Liberty calls for bail... sheish man

as diligence becomes a burden and children sing in Demonic rhythms... mmm, if we on the same page(demonic rhythms.. i hate em too. spoiing good music)

Peace is shackled... pain gets cheaper... man!!

I'm feeling this.. now.. who is Charles Opara?
prophet, poet, entrepreneur, thinker.

#3 Poetic Seraph

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Posted 23 May 2009 - 05:33 PM

nice one. I quickly saw that the CAPS were a sentence in itself, and honestly, it took away from my concentration towards the poem in itself. I mean, it's clevery used, I admire that, but I couldnt focus on your poem anymore. i think it's very original though what u did here :)
This time, love doesn't hurt, nor is is complicated

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#4 Couzifer

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Posted 27 May 2009 - 06:41 AM

Yeah!...this is a new style here!,...but I got to get to the root of it...some deep lines!

b boy said:

as a heart attack to a baby
and "ETERNITY" going to hell

b boy said:

as love is raped
"AND" angels are widowed

Keep inkin bro'.
Fuck wit' me n' I'ma break u' skull, expose u' brains to reality/
jus' to make u' think outside that box u' call a head/

* I don't only think ahead, but ma' thoughts surpass those of a single head * |Couzifer|

#5 rollydudez

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Posted 18 June 2009 - 04:28 AM

b boy said:

"THROUGH" induced thoughts of prophetic declerations.......
i discovered the "SYNONYMS" of my rapture.........
through simple conotations "OF" discrete language .............
i worked out a "COMPROMISE" with this damage..............

as a heart attack to a baby
and "ETERNITY" going to hell

as earth regugitates blood "SWALLOWED"
and demons grow tails

as peace is shacklled
and "PAIN" gets cheaper

as love is raped
"AND" angels are widowed

as innocense is "POLLUTED"
and grace is cancerd

as "DILLIGENCE" becomes a burden
and children sing in demonic rhytm's

as hate lives in our inheritance
and "LIBERTY" call's for bail

as sedatives are induced
"AND GUILT" is illuminated

as wisdom is looted
"AS" truth is dilluted

i realise with deep "TERROR"
my thoughts have "RAPTURED".......
.......deserting "MY BODY" in post apokalyptik times..................................

hence........
THROUGH SYNONYMS OF COMPROMISE ETERNITY SWALLOWED PAIN AND POLLUTED DILLIGENCE, LIBERTY AND GUILT AS TERROR RAPTURED MY BODY......................CHARLES OPARA


i think there's no similar to others...


________________
where

#6 eizzy.k

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Posted 18 June 2009 - 12:08 PM

wow, heavy drop!

Kizito said:

I'm feeling this.. now.. who is Charles Opara?
yeah who is he??
I am:
A constant energy,
An ever-changing entity ,
Like the wind blowing
I remain free flowing,
on a journey of self discovery,
myself i hope to find...
"as my ciper keeps rolling like a rolling stone"

http://eizzypoetry.blogspot.com

#7 Hiddenviktum3

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 04:16 PM

This drop was my induced thought.

i keep reading this...

b boy said:

"THROUGH" induced thoughts of prophetic declerations.......
i discovered the "SYNONYMS" of my rapture.........


#8 b boy

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Posted 25 June 2009 - 02:17 AM

lol............i am charles opara................just quoted my self.........a form of "i am a great man kinda thing....."..............lol.......tnx 4 d comments tho

#9 Sisa

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Posted 26 June 2009 - 10:36 AM

Not to be a wet blanket (or duvet/quilt/rug/tablecloth depending on your choice of verbage) the climax sentence doesn't make sense to me, peep this:

Quote

THROUGH SYNONYMS OF COMPROMISE ETERNITY SWALLOWED PAIN AND POLLUTED DILLIGENCE, LIBERTY AND GUILT AS TERROR RAPTURED MY BODY

Maybe "Through synonyms of comprimise, eternally swallowed pain,polluted dilligence; liberty, and guilt as terror my body is raptured"

Even with that best effort, the paragraph of a sentence fails dismally from a gramatical and sensical standpoint. A lot of the words there are unnnecessary, and almost lead to a fealing of the purpose of the poem was this great idea which wasn't executed right.

my 5c

Keep writin
A poem is when the pen skillfully dances upon tree carcases/
to the melodies of a mental ensamble/
coreographed by our hearts desire

Sisa

#10 b boy

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Posted 26 June 2009 - 09:59 PM

THROUGH SYNONYMS OF COMPROMISE ETERNITY SWALLOWED PAIN AND POLLUTED DILLIGENCE, LIBERTY AND GUILT AS TERROR RAPTURED MY BODY.................
............................................................................................................................................
through synonyms of compromise.....the word compromise here is used as a noun........
eternity swallowed pain........eternity nd pain r used here 2 represent entities like people....meaning eternity n d sense of timelessness....or also d end nd beginning as in GOD took away my pain.........
polluted dilligence, liberty , nd guilt.......thnx 2 religion nd prayer a lotta pple dnt work they wait 4 GOD for there freedom ,for there work, for there wrong doings....
as terror raptured my body..........bt even with all this we still born nd living in fear...
in essence......GOD took away our pain bt thnx 2 religion nd prayer a lotta pple dnt work they wait 4 GOD for there freedom ,for there work, for there wrong doings bt even with all this we still born nd living in fear of wat is d question to b asked ..........
the word play is only bcos im a poet its poetry nt descriptive essay so u hv 2 think 2 understand........dnt expect 2 read my poetry nd just understand it dat easily... i'v neva been dat shallow...........so nw i hope it all mks sense bt u could hv tot it tru dats d pity.........@ SISA :!:

#11 Sisa

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Posted 29 June 2009 - 06:43 AM

Alright B boy, i'll try to say this in the most polite way possible:

1) Even with the text-message-style explanation, your poem still suffers from grammatical and sensical errors, full stop. You have not provided enough imagery for us to come to the conclusion that "eternity" and "pain", in your poem, has actually been personified.

2)There's another poem I've seen on the board that uses the same style of having certain words, strategically inverted, so as to culminate in this climax of an end sentence. The big problem with this aproache is that, the reader is distracted by the words in inverted commas, because they're subconsciously trieng to prematurely decipher the climax. This results in the body of the poem being neglected, and all concerntration going to the end stanza, which really doesn't do your poem absolute justice.

Quote

the word play is only bcos im a poet its poetry nt descriptive essay so u hv 2 think 2 understand........dnt expect 2 read my poetry nd just understand it dat easily... i'v neva been dat shallow


3)I assume that you were being sarcastic...i hope you were really joking...in the unlikely scenario that you were not, let me enlighten you a little Soulja Boy before you go and "Tell em".

Being a poet is not about being illusive, and incoherent in hopes that people will not understand (which you call "get") your shit, so that they keen be like "Hey i have no idea what his poem was about, thus he must be deep" . A poet puts his heart on paper for everyone to clearly see, not hiding it behinnd the foil wrapping known as depth, and the beauty of it being the rawness of the poets vulnerability and not the cloud of uncertainty. B boy, this whole thing of being "deep" and "not being understood the first read" is the kindegarten stage of poetry, you need to jus relax and further suckle from the breasts of matured poetry before you can handle meaty topics.

Don't ever, i mean ever...mistake not being clear for depth. Yes i do admit you have some dope lines in your script, but you should rather concerntrate on having dope poems.

Now let's remain silent and reflect...can't wait for your next poem.
A poem is when the pen skillfully dances upon tree carcases/
to the melodies of a mental ensamble/
coreographed by our hearts desire

Sisa

#12 b boy

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Posted 11 August 2009 - 03:34 AM

lol.......okay......last words.....beauty has always been in d eye of d beholder..........tanx 4 ur opinion.......but der is a point to my poetry......u just dont get it......

#13 temple of zion

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Posted 31 August 2009 - 12:18 PM

yes yes homeboy thats my typa thang man,its shows interllectual creativity,i love the piece,i want see your next piece aiit,1 love dude,chi-town

#14 vnorm

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Posted 01 September 2009 - 12:29 PM

Sisa and bboy, the discussion is helpful to poetry. sounds like Wordsworth and the victorians.
Everyone has a taste. some like deep, hard to figure out, full of imagery poetry, some preffer easy laid back wording with simple relatable meaning, others preffer a hint of both. Im one of those in the 3rd group.

#15 occipital

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Posted 01 September 2009 - 06:45 PM

nice piece, I love the word play
I'm only a shadow of this image you see in the light

#16 brooks

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Posted 25 July 2010 - 02:32 AM

sisa has a point n she/he as much as i wld be hated for this, is telling the absolute truth.....b boy is stupendously deep n i totally understand his piece. that sed, lemme drive home sisa's point with a 'tour bus'- 'sometimes, we need to leave the crowd and chorus, in other to hear our own voice!'





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