17 replies to this topic

[Poetic Seraph]

Couzifer

Fingertips

Your African curves tells no lies
that's why besides you I'll forever lie
your beauty I'll fondle and cuddle
rising your temparatures higher than the tropicals
...
and as I walk right through that great valley
I'll taste your sacred spring waters,
rise up those mountains into the lovely craters
igniting your inner core into violent eruptions...

...gently I'll tune your vocals into poetic tones,
by sensually stroking you into musical notes...
...I won't stop until I hit the your highest key
covering you with sexual goose bumps
....
then blindly explore your desires like a braille
reading your highs and lows I'll make my vows
as our bodies get closely tight...from now on
my fingertips knows how to tell whats wrong from right!

vs

Wreck-a-damus

Fingertips
Witness of Information.
Source of accountability.
Indices,Numerical Counters.
Licking Tips,Wedding Tip,
Black Tip, Pinky Tip, Thumbs Up
and A ok.
unprocessed datum in legions whirls
in between a pondering bracket.
Splashes , ideas.
Finge Tips,Dirt Nails? so absurd
But perplexing changes occur, only if they were of the
almighty life Source.
Drumming fingers with the euphoric beats ,unreflective in Handiwork of Night.
Little,even Brittle Metamorphose into well fed bairn.
Finger tips
Alas, i have much to write about but little to speak on.

PM me if you don't get any thing(to Voters to be)

[Poetic Seraph]

hmm these pieces are so different from each other. I'm not a big fan of the style that wreck used. but he got some very good lines and very good points; it touched pretty much all possibles 'uses' of the fingertips. I just thought the last line was kinda disappointing. like u just abandoned the poem
couz picked out one thing u can do with fingertips. it's true, fingertips can make a girl go crazy, if used in the right way hahaha. but i thought it was kinda disappointing that this piece turned sexual. I know Couz can do better than that, but then again I also know u wrote this on the last minute :p

so hard to vote

hmm, my vote goes to Couz. i thought both pieces had some very strong lines, but they both kinda disappointed me in one way or the other. I can relate more to Couz piece, so he gets my vote

[vnorm]

[quote name="Couzifer"]Your African curves tells no lies
that's why besides you I'll forever lie[/quote]
oh, i loved the opener.
[quote name="Couzifer"]your beauty I'll fondle and cuddle
rising your temperatures higher than the tropicals[/quote]
this came prematurely. its more 'informal' i might say. having started with the lofty language.
[quote name="Couzifer"]and as I walk right through that great valley
I'll taste your sacred spring waters,
rise up those mountains into the lovely craters
igniting your inner core into violent eruptions...[/quote]
the imagery was superb. its clearly about her body, but you're using landscapes to say it. made me smile.
[quote name="Couzifer"]...gently I'll tune your vocals into poetic tones,
by sensually stroking you into musical notes...
...I won't stop until I hit the your highest key
covering you with sexual goose bumps[/quote] I'd expected you'd keep with the images you'd conjured in the second verse. the musical terms were ok though. except the last line. gave away too much, u know?
[quote name="Couzifer"]then blindly explore your desires like a braille
reading your highs and lows I'll make my vows
as our bodies get closely tight...from now on
my fingertips knows how to tell whats wrong from right!
[/quote]
by this point, probably u shoulda gave the poem a different dimension.
Overall i think this piece was good. the concept has been written on severally and i wouldnt say its easy to make it appear virgin.(no pun)
8.5/10
______________________
[quote name="Wreck-a-damus"]Witness of Information.
Source of accountability.
Indices,Numerical Counters.
Licking Tips,Wedding Tip,
Black Tip, Pinky Tip, Thumbs Up
and A ok.[/quote]
i totally enjoyed how each line expressed a totally diffrent idea. I didnt expect you to put it into verses and you sure didnt.
[quote name="Wreck"]unprocessed datum in legions whirls
in between a pondering bracket.[/quote]
that ws genius. talk of having things at your fingertips. and thoe lines(brackets?!)
[quote name="Wreck"]Splashes , ideas.
Finge Tips,Dirt Nails? so absurd[/quote] juxtaposition was tight. probably the 'so absurd' line shouldnt have been ther, but its good.
[quote name="Wreck"]But perplexing changes occur, only if they were of the
almighty life Source.
Drumming fingers with the euphoric beats ,unreflective in Handiwork of Night.
Little,even Brittle Metamorphose into well fed bairn.[/quote] dude. i felt that. abstractness. you covered almost everything finger's could do. plus the diction was very good in this region.
[quote name="Wreck"]Finger tips
Alas, i have much to write about but little to speak on.
[/quote] i dont know about you but this lines werent it to me.[quote name="Poetic Seraph"]I just thought the last line was kinda disappointing. like u just abandoned the poem[/quote]
9/10
Wreck, by a small margin. i just enjoyed his piece more on this particular topic

[brooks]

damn yall! both pieces were very dope! mad props to yu wreck. i think u shld be doing much more poetry :D
the vote; couzifer had a very good opener,talked on a very good aspect of the fingertips but i think his was a lil stereotyped.
wreck did well to talk on a lot more on the diff uses but then couzifer's piece was much more emmmmmm! poetry!
so u have my vote couz!

[squid]

Both poems were well written but i think both writters would have done better than this my vote goes to Couz

[kaspa]

squid said:

Both poems were well written but i think both writters would have done better than this my vote goes to Couz

I second you on that man, my vote also goes to Couzifer.

[wreck-a-damus]

vnorm i appreciate your detailed and in depth analysis cum vote. cool man.and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters. and yeah i'm back expect more from me.

[Couzifer]

wreck-a-damus said:

and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.
and :lol: @ this noob/ multiple accounts voters.

:roll: Sike..oh! sorry I meant wreck-a-damus, u' neva concede defeat do you??!!
That's already a 4-1!?, wow!thanks every1 whoz already voted on this!, more votin' still welcome!!

[wreck-a-damus]

^ and who were you again????? :? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[vnorm]

this is the poetry section, gentlemen.

[iam]

vnorm said:

this is the poetry section, gentlemen.

true
i think we need a forum fo beef and dissin
mod and admin shud work on dis

[Ghostic]

Couz said:

and as I walk right through that great valley
I'll taste your sacred spring waters,
rise up those mountains into the lovely craters
igniting your inner core into violent eruptions...

Nice blend with geological love...pretty wordplay here.

Couz said:

then blindly explore your desires like a braille

Lovely line

Couz said:

my fingertips knows how to tell whats wrong from right!

Hmmm...


Wreck:
Couldn't get a grip with wreck's,straining my brain to grasp a thing or two.I think yours is way above my mental capacity.I could sense some dopeness but the structure aint my thing.

So for me,I'll go with Couz,coz I felt it more.

NB:@ we mustn't pm you to understand your article, they ought to be self explanatory. Incase there are some stuffs you know might be a lil bit confusing to your readers, you could just explain it briefly at the end of your drop...sort of like a 'footnote'.

ONE!

[ralstone15]

good poems

my vote is for couz.

ay couz, can i borrow that poem, im tryn to get this girl see....

[Couzifer]

Ghostic, I see ya' man, thanks for teh vote

ralstone15, thanks too for u vote...

ralstone15 said:

ay couz, can i borrow that poem, im tryn to get this girl see....
ay couz, can i borrow that poem, im tryn to get this girl see....

yeah, no prob bro, take it!

[vnorm]

ralstone15 said:

ay couz, can i borrow that poem, im tryn to get this girl see....

:D :D

[eizzy.k]

just adding to what has already been said,
i agree couzifer's verse was more poetic,
and wreck had some tight lines, but didnt end the piece well...
so basicly my vote goes to...damn,
wud ave given it 2 wreck, just cuz he's been butcherd in dis round, but it aint right to give pitty votes so...
couzifer u got my vote!

[IDEALIST]

Couzifer : Good but not great. Seems rushed. Kept waiting for the power lines to change the tone a lil bit. No one says a poem has to be hard or abstract but very EZ to understand. Hands on a woman...got it. But still good job.

Wreck: I really liked the way it started.

Quote

Witness of Information.
Source of accountability.
Indices,Numerical Counters.
Licking Tips,Wedding Tip,
Black Tip, Pinky Tip, Thumbs Up
and A ok.

It seemed like more time was taken, but as abstract as this piece was it got a lil too abstract to suddenly end very simple.

Quote

Drumming fingers with the euphoric beats ,unreflective in Handiwork of Night.
Little,even Brittle Metamorphose into well fed bairn.
Finger tips
Alas, i have much to write about but little to speak on.

Based on what I felt......Couzifer got it but not by much.

ONE! 8)

[Poetic Seraph]

battle won by Couz