May I?

[quote name="soul_seeker"]I love you,

I want to write it on your skin with my fingertips, so that you feel it all over

I don’t want it to be left out at the end of a conversation,

I want those three words to come down like a gentle shower that’ll lightly land on every inch of you, as my soul,

Let my, I love you,

Slip from my tongue

And run along your body and take the shape of your contours,

[/quote]

Whewwww!!! I tell you, these are some severely righteous lines .. and I love them!

I tell you, "wanting" is a beautiful thing and somehow "having" so often falls short.

Comments

  • 15 Comments sorted by
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited July 2009
    Damn what some words you have there dude. It reminds me of that Robin Thicke's track...lost without you.

    Such words/ phrases are always difficult to say when the time to say them comes...I sometimes want to tell my woman a whole lot of things, but right there would come all some other ad hoc thoughts...i can tell you that these other thoughts are straight bullshit, but I always give into them. What a kak situation.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited July 2009
    The art of expression at it best, I'm loving this piece. Sometimes words can get louder!
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited July 2009
    One word describes this piece, and that word is - DOPE!

    I'm loving the imagery.

    Plus this piece has a sort of a ???... Its chaste without being overly prudent, sexual without being too explicit. I love the sense of innocence it bears. Nice 1 man.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited July 2009
    Its chaste without being overly prudent, sexual without being too explicit. I love the sense of innocence it bears.
    EXACTLY!!! it's very smooth, sensual and innocent at the same time. questioning if 'i love u' will be received in the exact way that u meant it when u said it, shows that u care enough to wonder. cuz people use those 3 words too easily nowadays. and when it comes straight from the heart and not out of habit, i love u is very hard to say, cuz it can have a lot and a lot of consequences
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited July 2009
    its hard to come across a good "I Love You" poem, but i think u pulled it off...

    it felt genuine! sensual even, dude i cud feel the love! LoL!

    P.S. would make a great spoken word performance piece!
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited August 2009
    wow dude u killed it man,i lked the way you killed this rhyme..

    "Let my, I love you,

    Slip from my tongue

    And run along your body and take the shape of your contours,

    May this phrase from my heart to yours, fit you like a glove.

    May this I love you of mine not suddenly undergo some un-welcomed metamorphosis,

    May it not all of a sudden snake menacingly around your body

    May it not tighten, to strangle and suffocate you."

    dude thats something inspiring,and i would enjoy reading yo piece over and over again,kip tha fire burning
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited September 2009
    so simple yet so hard hitting. love it
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited September 2009
    not bad at all im lovin the whole concept and the structure of this ish. nice piece delivered perfectly.

    word

    :wink:
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited September 2009
    .
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited September 2009
    some people when dey get emotional....they write and it comes out beautifully.............u sir are 1 of em.................big ups.......nice delivery ......superb writing ....... :D
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited February 2011
    :shock:
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited February 2011
    where's the original piece itself? All i see is replys... Please send me the link to the original piece. :shock:
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited February 2011
    WTFu ... I know this piece was that veritable "sweet in the honey" and I wish I knew why Soul_Seeker yanked it! I'm sorely tempted to fill tha gap though (and smack that ass) .. ya feel meh?!! LOL!! I might mess around and "x-rate" this joint and where would that leave us all ... Hahahahaha!!! I sure hope Spring/Summer brings life to AHH!!
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited June 2012
    ... and so.it goes. We come full circle, standing squarely

    in the crucible ... seeking balance

    In the ebb and flow of lifes ony true challenge

    .... to be true to something that we can only fathom!

    Where did we go wrong .... and why?
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    edited July 2012
    Flabbergast work!!! I am fond of your writing.

    painters hollywood
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